


You Look Hot in Leather

by falloutboyd



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: AND RIGHTLY SO, Crack, Gen, allison prefers ATS, crack probably describes this better than anything else tbh, derek is grumpy and kind of emotionally repressed what else is new, i didn't know whether to actually tag btvs but there you go, isaac is there, kind of?, lydia worships cordelia chase, not actually a crossover, scott is adorable even though he only gets one word of dialogue, stiles is kind of an asshole sometimes but in an endearing way
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-09
Updated: 2014-10-09
Packaged: 2018-02-20 13:37:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2430785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/falloutboyd/pseuds/falloutboyd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles and Lydia argue about which character from Buffy each member of the pack could be, making everyone else kind of uncomfortable in the process.</p><p>That's it that's the story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Look Hot in Leather

**Author's Note:**

> This is set...before 3B? I think? Maybe. Well, it's after season 2 at any rate. Boyd and Erica are either dead like in canon, or maybe they've both decided to ditch Beacon Hills together to escape said inevitable death. I prefer to believe the latter.  
> 

 

"I'm totally Giles, right?"

"Huh?" Scott mumbled from his position at the coffee table, head leaning into the crook of his arm, causing his voice to sound muffled.

"In our little pack-slash-scooby gang we've got going here. I'm Giles. Y'know, smart, resourceful, the man with a plan, coaching the 'chosen one' through all of the tough choices and changes they have to face. I'm Giles!" Stiles exclaimed passionately, jumping down from where he was perched on the kitchen counter. They had all gathered in Derek's loft, much to the chagrin of the older wolf, using the space to form somewhat of a study group in preparation for their upcoming finals.

"Yeah right." Lydia scoffed, already feeling agitated from being in such close confinements with Peter Hale, who was currently lurking by the stairs, doing his best, unintentionally or not, to unnerve her.   

"But it _totally_ makes sense." Stiles insisted, throwing his arms into the air as if the action would emphasise his point.

Lydia rolled her eyes in fond exasperation. "Fine, I'll bite. If in this little scenario, _you_ are Giles, then who exactly is supposed to be Buffy?" She asked, raising one perfectly shaped eyebrow.

"Scott, obviously."

"Huh?" Scott mumbled again, although slightly more eloquently this time. Not having paid much attention to his friend's conversation so far, instead choosing to spend the last few minutes glaring at a particularly difficult equation, he perked up at the sound of his name.

"You're kind of our equivalent to the 'chosen one', 'the slayer', right? I mean, I know you're not the only wolf here, but you're like, the 'true alpha' and all, whatever that means." Stiles explained, "Plus, you have an endearing yet frustratingly stubborn hero complex."

Scott furrowed his brow at this and turned back to his work. Years of experience had taught him just how long Stiles would argue in order to prove his point, so Scott resolved to not get involved.

"Anyway, the main point is, Scott being Buffy makes _me_ Giles. He's probably only alive right now because of my wise words of... uh, wisdom. Plus, imagine me wearing tweed and glasses. Imagine it, right now. Can any of you honestly say you're not at least a little bit turned on?" Stiles paused in his ranting to lift his arms up and perform a not-so-elegant twirl to ensure everyone present could get a good look. Oblivious to the uncomfortable looks on the faces of the majority of the room, he continued, "also, _Giles_? Rhymes with _Stiles_. You can't make this shit up."

"Apart from the fact that you literally did make up that nickname?" Isaac cut in from the corner of the room, eyebrow raised incredulously. Stiles promptly ignored him.

"Anyway, no way are you Giles. If anyone here is Giles, it's gotta be Derek." Lydia stated matter-of-factly, not bothering to look up from the geometry book she was attempting to read.

"No way! He's all, broody and mysterious. He's Angel! He is the perfect Angel in this scenario." Stiles explained passionately, earning a glare from said wolf who was currently doing his best to pretend they weren't there.

Lydia scoffed again. "Perfect? Okay then. So, Derek and Scott have been on again off again lovers for the past few years?"

_This_ succeeded in recapturing Scott's attention, as he quickly glanced up from his studies with wide eyes.

"They _could_ be. I'm sure it would be magical." Stiles insisted.

Scott and Derek made brief eye contact with each other before hastily turning away, blushes creeping up their cheeks. A low, threatening growl erupted from Derek's general direction as Stiles sent them each a lecherous wink.

" _Sure_. But, no way. Derek is Giles. He's got that whole mentor role thing down, he fits way better. That is, as long as we're not taking into account the success rate of said mentoring..." Lydia reasoned, throwing an apologetic look Derek's way as she noticed him flinch slightly at the criticism.

"Fine, if you're _so_ good at this, who would be Angel? _Allison?_ " Stiles exclaimed incredulously, saddened by the fleeting thought of himself stylishly donning both tweed and an English accent now slipping through his fingers.

"Well, actually-"

"Ugh.." Stiles crossed his arms and pouted in annoyance.

"-she fits the bill." Lydia shrugged, before turning to face Allison. "I love you, sweetie, but you can brood like a pro. You and Scott's will they/won't they thing has been just as infuriating as Buffy and Angel's." She purposely did not mention Allison's brief episode of grief fuelled vengeance that resulted in some not so friendly violence against some of the pack, that _could_ have been compared, in a much lesser degree, to Angel's soulless antics.

Allison dropped her gaze to the floor regardless, no doubt dwelling on the bad memories, so Lydia continued; "Not to mention, you look _really_  hot in leather." Lydia winked, causing Allison to blush as she fought a smile at her friend's comment.

"Alright, alright, you may have something there. _But,_ y'know who this makes you?" Stiles asked pointedly, a smirk forming on his face.

Lydia raised an eyebrow, already knowing what he was going to say, "I've got a feeling, but please, go on."

"Cordelia. Ha!" He exclaimed triumphantly, breaking out into a full on grin.

Lydia, however, stood her ground, "Am I supposed to be insulted by that?"

"Uh.." Stiles looked considerably less sure of himself now, and possibly a bit frightened.

"Cordelia Chase is a _goddess_. She is the most badass character on that show, aside from _maybe_ Buffy herself. Trust me, I strive to be more like Cordelia Chase _everyday_." Lydia ranted loudly and passionately, unaware of the raised eyebrows erupting around the room following her outburst

Stiles was quick to hold his hands up placating. "Alright, okay, I concede. Besides, I don't wanna go upsetting this inner fangirl that we've managed to coax out of her shell..." He teased with a smirk.

"Shut the hell up Stiles." She snapped, though she sounded far less threatening and much fonder than she had intended.

If Stiles had caught on to her tone, he mercifully didn't comment on it. "Okay, moving on. So, Scott is Buffy, Allison is Angel. Derek is Giles. You're Cordelia. I'm gonna go ahead and say Isaac is Oz, y'know, cute face, general nonchalance, but no central storylines and nobody really cares that much about his input-"

"Hey!" Isaac argued half-heartedly, knowing Stiles would ignore him and continue. Which he did.

"As I was _saying,_ since I can't think of any creepy uncles with dubious moral affiliations in the Buffy'verse, we'll just pretend that Peter doesn't exist-"

Lydia interrupted his ramblings at that, holding out her hand as if the gesture alone could make him stop talking. "Actually couldn't he fit Spike? At least until he got all creepy stalker with Buffy. Well, unless we count that time Peter got all creepy stalker with _me.."_ She commented with a glare in Peter's general direction.

"Have I mentioned how very much I regret _certain_ life choices I made during that difficult time?" Peter intoned somewhat apathetically, though one look at his nervous expression would show just how intimidated he really felt being at the receiving end of Lydia's heated gaze.

Stiles jumped in at this point, hoping to diffuse the tension by moving the topic along. "Okay, fine, _Peter's_ Spike. I'll let _you_ work out the mechanics of the whole Spuffy relationship, which I'm sure will be just thrilling for both Peter and Scott. Back to the most important question; If I'm not Giles, then who am I? Willow?" Stiles didn't look overly-excited at the prospect.

Lydia brought her finger up to her chin in mock-thoughtful gesture."Well, you do have that desperate loser vibe that she was rocking in the early seasons..."

"Hey!" Stiles protested, though he didn't look as offended as his tone suggested.

Lydia continued with a playful smirk. "But, shy and sweet you are most definitively not. I guess, given some juice, you could pull off her 'mad with power' phase in the later seasons, which is why we should really be careful to not let you be in charge of anything..."

"Again, hey!"

"But, to your credit, you have her enthusiasm, and maybe you're not a total dumbass. Happy?" Lydia finished emphatically, satisfied with her conclusion.

"Was that a compliment? That seemed like a really bad attempt at a compliment to me."

Lydia rolled her eyes, finally closing her geometry book as she realized that she'd get no more studying done tonight.

"So, I'm Willow?" Stiles prompted further, his need for confirmation overtaking any embarrassment his fixation on the topic might have caused.

Lydia actually looked contemplative this time. "Hmm...I'd say maybe a cross between Willow and Xander. I mean, just like Xander, you're not half as funny as you think you are.." She mocked with a teasing smile.

"Hilarious." Stiles deadpanned.

Lydia rolled her eyes for what seemed like the hundredth time during this conversation, "..Also, you're Scott's very loyal and devoted friend. There, is that better?"

Stiles opened his mouth to reply and perhaps defend his general awesomeness, but slumped in defeat as he saw the bright, loving smile aimed at him from Scott as soon as he had heard the comment; and, like anyone that had been on the receiving end of one of Scott's unwaveringly honest and adoring looks, he was unable to resist returning a similar smile.

He sighed fondly and, turning back to Lydia, rolled his eyes. "I suppose I can live with that." Stiles paused for a few seconds, a mischievous grin overtaking his face. "Hey, don't Xander and Cordelia date?" He teased with an over-the-top eyebrow waggle.

Lydia fought to resist the urge to face palm at his antics.

"Well, actually..." A new voice piped in from the sofa. Having held back her opinions up until now, Allison moved to raise her hand in an uncharacteristically shy gesture to get their attention. 

"What?" Stiles asked somewhat taken aback. In the midst of their discussion, he had forgotten that there were several other people in the room.

Allison looked slightly nervous, but continued as Lydia sent her a reassuring smile. "It's just, in Angel: the series, which in my opinion is the far better series-"

Stiles interrupted her with an incredulous scoff at this comment, earning a glare from both Lydia and Allison.

Allison continued, with much more confidence this time; "Well, in Angel: the series, Angel and Cordelia fall in love and are absolutely perfect together, moving on from both Buffy _and_ Xander." She finished with a slight blush as she saw Stiles' brow furrow in thought. She chanced a look at Lydia, who had narrowed her eyes thoughtfully at her, though a playful smirk was pulling at her lips. Allison looked her in the eyes and continued in an almost amorous tone, "y'know, what with Angel's _hot leather_ and all." She finished with a smirk that mirrored Lydia's earlier one.

Lydia broke into a wide grin at this. "Well, Allison, I personally cannot wait to be in your spinoff."

**Author's Note:**

> Allison should get an Angel-esque spinoff, except with writers who can actually handle things without getting petty (*side-eyes Joss Whedon*) who's with me


End file.
